


Death Follows Him Like A Shadow

by thesoundofnat



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Gen, Major Spoilers Ahead, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 15:12:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14475384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: One moment there, the next moment gone.Infinity War reaction fic. Major spoilers ahead.





	Death Follows Him Like A Shadow

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING FOR INFINITY WAR SPOILERS. Seriously, don't scroll down if you don’t want to get spoiled.

One moment there, the next moment gone. Hadn’t that been Tony’s entire life?

A phone call informing him of his parents’ deaths, sprinkled with the desperate attempt to burn the lump in his throat to the ground with a bottle. A betrayal informing him of Obadiah’s true colors, followed by bloodied knuckles and bent-in walls.

A shield to his chest, severing every single tie. One moment there, smiling at Tony in the kitchen over coffee, the next moment gone, leaving him to die alone.

It was the mantra of Tony’s life.

Now, on Titan, almost alone. Might as well have been alone. The blue woman, Nebula, was still standing, but Tony remained on the ground, curled up, eyes leaking as he tried to make sense of what the hell had just happened.

Peter. One moment there, begging Tony to help him, the next moment gone. Apologizing to  _him_ rather than the other way around.  _I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go_. Over and over, filling Tony’s mind until he wished he could disappear himself. Anything to stop the image of Peter clutching Tony like a lifeboat, his face distorted with panic before falling back, eyes on the sky before meeting Tony’s, as if he’d accepted his fate.

He’d been way too young to accept his fate.

Tony ran his hands over his face as his emotions exploded inside him, but all he could do was let out a sound so broken he now wished he was alone, but Nebula wasn’t stupid enough to intervene with his grief. She even took some steps back, as if scared she’d get caught up in the wave.

Tony had been on the verge of panic ever since getting on that flying donut thing, and it had left him exhausted. Too exhausted to scream and kick and curse the universe like he wanted to, so all he could do was sit there, his sobs intensifying until all he could do was rock on the spot. A splitting image of what he’d wanted to do for so many years. Just sit down and let his sorrow consume him for a moment, knowing he’d feel better afterward. He wouldn’t feel better after this.

He doubted he’d feel better ever again.

“What do we do now?” he said, voice so low he doubted Nebula even heard him.

She was looking at him when he glanced up. “Get revenge.”

He almost laughed. “ _How_?”

“We’ll find a way.” She kicked a pebble, and they watched it fly toward the broken donut thing. “You build things, right?” Tony had no idea how she had known that. “Do you think you can fix that ship so that we can go kick Thanos’ ass?”

Tony wiped his face, though it wasn’t doing much since he was still crying. More calmly, yes, but still crying. “I have no tools.”

“You have your suit.”

“Right. Uh. I can try.” Either way it would be a way to keep both his mind and hands busy. Otherwise he’d spend the rest of his life sitting on Titan crying, which obviously wouldn’t be a very long life to begin with.

Would leaving mean leaving Peter and the others behind? Would they get resurrected, somehow? Would Tony curse them to yet another death?

And could he stand to leave their ashes behind?

No. Never.

He wouldn’t.

Wiping his face again, Tony got to work. Even if they failed, nothing could be worse than this anyway.

* * *

 

It came back to him when he eventually passed out, his bones aching from everything, his chest aching even more so. In his dream he saw Peter smiling, Strange smiling, Quill and his crew smiling. In his dream, he was the one to plunge a sword into their chests, twisting it until they fell, spasming and coughing blood and begging for mercy. In his dream, he watched the light leave their eyes, leaving way for something hurt. Something betrayed.

He woke up crying, almost entirely alone on the home planet of the monster who killed them all. The monster who was going to kill him until Strange decided his life was for some reason worth more than half the universe. Tony would never forgive him for that, but he reckoned it didn’t matter. Stephen Strange wasn’t here to suffer the consequences with him.

He refused to wonder if Pepper was still on Earth. Refused to wonder if Peter would’ve been okay if he’d stayed on Earth like Tony had told him to. Refused to wonder if Rhodey was okay, if Happy was okay.

If Steve Rogers was okay.

It didn’t matter right now. Chances were he’d never find out anyway, so why bother wondering? He had enough grief as it was, didn’t he?

He glanced at Nebula. She was still asleep, though Tony doubted it was a peaceful slumber. He’d found out that Gamora had been her sister, and Gamora was gone. She was in as much pain as he was, only she didn’t cry about it. She’d been walking around the planet to see if she could find anything useful while Tony worked, but the place was as deserted as ever. Tony had never been as grateful for his suit as now.

He sat up, his body weak and exhausted. He hadn’t eaten in way too long, and he was certain he’d die of thirst before even making any progress on the ship. This was worse than Afghanistan. So much worse. At least back then he’d had a little bit of hope that someone could come save him, and with the help of Yinsen he’d been able to speed up his escape plan. No one could help him on this planet, so no one would.

He exhaled slowly. Shakily. Eyes finding the ashes of Peter, Strange, Quill and the rest, and then back to Peter’s. The lack of a breeze had left them were he’d been lying as he’d disappeared. Vanished into nothing but grains in Tony’s palm. Apologizing before he was gone.

_I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna go._

Tony shut his eyes.  _I didn’t want you to go either, kid._

He got back to work.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://thesoundofnat.tumblr.com/).


End file.
